(Some men - monks - are working in a field, wearing simple woollen sleeveless tunics. They look up in awe as the Lexx flies overhead, and run to a large wooden building nearby)

MONKS: Brother Randor! Brother Randor! Brother Randor!

(A grey haired man - Brother Randor - walks out of the gates, and looks up at the Lexx)

(The Lexx - everyone is on the bridge, looking at the view screen. The planet is almost entirely water, with just one island visible)

790: No signals from this sphere, curvaceous one
XEV: I say we land
STAN: Land? It's only got one tiny island
XEV: Well, it's a green island, and it looks pretty
STAN: But there are no signals. That means that this planet is completely primitive! And in case you haven't noticed, we've been experiencing a pattern. We come to a planet, we don't know what it's like but we land anyway, because you insist, usually because you think you're gonna meet some, some studly guys! Xev -

(He gets down from the pedestal)

STAN: We are an advanced species. We're supposed to learn from our experiences, and improve our decision making accordingly. So it's simple - we don't land here. We wait, until we find a planet that we know has - beaches, and girls, and -
XEV: But what if this planet could have beaches and girls?
STAN: It won't! And you won't meet any guys, and Kai'll stay dead, and I won't fall in love

(Xev looks at Kai)

XEV: 790 - I'm getting desperate. Very, very, desperate
790: Xev darling - I will have a body soon. I will become your custom robot hunk. My equipment will far outperform any mere human's!
XEV: 790, off

(790 switches off. Xev puts him down on the pedestal, walks up to Stan)

XEV: Stan - if you agree to land on that planet, then I will agree to experience - sex, with you - if I don't find any down there
STAN: Really? I mean, unlike all those other times?
XEV: I just can't hold out any longer
STAN: Neither can I Xev, neither can I

(The moth lands outside the gates. The monks watch Stan and Kai get out)

RAND: It contains men

(And then Xev jumps out of the moth, waves at the monks - who start muttering)

MONK: What's this?
RAND: Silence! (to Stan) Are you apparitions? Or are you real?
STAN: (laughs) I'm real

(Stan holds out his hand, but Brother Randor backs away from it)

RAND: What do you want? Are you dangerous?
STAN: (laughs) No, not me pal, not at all. See, we're just visitors, you know like, er, checking the place out. Say, you got any beaches? Girls?

(The monks seem confused by this)

RAND: I am Brother Randor. Welcome to Nook

(A large wooden hall. Monks are sat with their heads bowed at benches alongside wooden tables. Stan, Xev and Kai are sitting by Brother Randor, who is saying grace)

RAND: We give thanks to Father Nook, for the bounty he has provided. We also thank him for the three strange men, that he has sent down to us from the sky. It is our gift to share our table with them tonight

(The monks raise their heads, and start to eat. Xev lifts a strawberry to her lips, and monks watch, fascinated. Stan sees a very sweet looking monk watching him. He smiles at the monk, who smiles back - and then Stan decides to concentrate on his bowl of soup. Brother Randor points at Kai's brace)

RAND: What is the purpose of that tool on your arm?
KAI: Its intended purpose is to kill people

(Brother Randor doesn't know what to say to this, and picks up a loaf of bread)

KAI: Allow me

(Kai takes the loaf, tosses it into the air, and fires his brace up at it. He catches the loaf, and it splits cleanly in two, which impresses the monks. The dead are dangerously close to smiling. Kai hands the bread to Xev and Brother Randor, who points at the food)

RAND: Will you join us?
KAI: I am dead. I do not consume food (thinks) If I may modify your statement - we are not three men - we are two men, and one - woman

(Kai points at Xev, who is slowly rubbing a strawberry around her lips)

RAND: Woman? What sort of man is that?
KAI: Woman - is a different sort of man from the only type you seem to have here

(Later. Brother Randor leads Kai into another hall, full of books, papers, scrolls - the library. Monks stand at desks, copying documents)

COPY: These three symbols are unclear to me, Brother Randor. Worms seem to have destroyed the paper
RAND: Let me write it for you

(He takes the copying brother's quill, writes symbols on a piece of paper for him)

KAI: And how is it that you can deduce the missing symbols, and he cannot?
RAND: Because the brothers who copy knowledge, cannot read
KAI: But you can
RAND: The brothers who read, do not copy knowledge. The only knowledge that we need is that of the land, of our Father Nook. He provides us with life, he sustains us. All other knowledge leads to unhappiness
COPY: Thank you Brother Randor

(Brother Randor and Kai walk on)

KAI: I possess more knowledge than I care to. I have the memories if the many thousands who were killed by the being who once controlled me
RAND: And what did you do while being controlled by this being?
KAI: I was an assassin. I killed for him
RAND: Knowledge is a heavy burden
KAI: If used improperly
RAND: (laughs) We do not use it improperly. We do not use it at all. Very little knowledge is required to live our unchanged life of perfect harmony with nature
KAI: Your life does not seem completely natural
RAND: What do you mean?
KAI: Who was your mother?
RAND: Mother?
KAI: Who gave you life?
RAND: Father Nook
KAI: But is not this planet Father Nook?
RAND: Of course!
KAI: Then should not the one who gave you life, the one from who you were born, be a woman?
RAND: I know not of what you speak

(Elsewhere. Six monks are kneeling on tables, while Brother Deal pours beans into a bowl, chants)

DEAL: We give thanks to Father Nook
MONKS: We give thanks to Father Nook
DEAL: For the bounty he provides
MONKS: For the bounty he provides
DEAL: We give -

(Xev sneaks in from behind a curtain, poses herself against the door frame - for some reason, this distracts some of the monks)

ELDER: Pay attention brothers!
DEAL: We will now assume the prone position

(The brothers lower their heads onto the tables. Xev sulks, and exits through the curtains)

(In the monk's sauna, Stan is having his back massaged by Brother Tregor - the one who was smiling at him earlier)

TREG: Life is good here on Nook
STAN: Ooo
TREG: Am I hurting you?
STAN: No, no, that feels, feels quite good
TREG: We eat good food, drink good drink, and live life in perfect harmony with nature. What more could we want?
STAN: How about some fun, you ever have any fun?
TREG: What do you mean?
STAN: You know, sometimes you get to have a party, you know, get down and dirty, cut loose. I don't see a whole lot of that happening here
TREG: Oh, we do have fun sometimes (smiles) We definitely do
STAN: Yeah, like when?
TREG: Everyone is getting excited, because soon there will come the Summer Solstice. It is very special. The longest day and shortest night of the year
STAN: (sarcastic) Well that sounds really exciting
TREG: It is the Night of No Rules. All vows are off, from sunset till sunrise. It is truly the night of brotherly love

(Brother Tregor leans down over Stan, who clearly is not comfortable)

STAN: Yeah

(Later. It's dark, and Kai is on his own in the library - until Brother Randor enters, with a lantern)

RAND: As Brother of Brothers, I am the only one permitted access to the library alone

(He lights a lantern hanging on the wall)

RAND: Of course, we know of everyday things, like how to grow food, but - we have chosen not to concern ourselves with the past, because since the Landing the past is the same as the future will be, and always will be so. Only the Brother of Brothers is permitted access to the tainted secrets contained in these books. I am the one who must dirty his hands with all the bad knowledge contained in this library
KAI: You don't seem to mind me reading
RAND: You have told me that you already contain much bad knowledge
KAI: And you do not?
RAND: The Brother of Brothers does not sully his mind with all the bad knowledge contained in this library, unless compelled to do so, by terrible circumstances

(Six monks are walking down a corridor - heads bowed, humming, carrying lanterns. They pass Xev in a doorway - she steps out)

XEV: Hi boys!

(One monk - Brother Stack - walks up to her)

STACK: What kind of man are you?
XEV: A very different kind

(She puts her hand around his neck and kisses him - then Brother Randor and Kai arrive)

RAND: Brother Stack! All of you, to your cells at once!

(The monks leave quickly. Xev calls after them)

XEV: There's more where that came from - much, much more!
RAND: I apologise for Brother Stack's behaviour. This sort of thing will not happen again
XEV: Good, I hope not - we were just getting started. Brother Randor - time for me to teach, and you to learn
RAND: Me to learn? I do not understand

(Xev takes his hand, rubs it along her stomach, up to her breast)

XEV: I am not a brother. I'm a sister, and there is a difference, which is what I'm trying to teach you right now

(Brother Randor runs away. Xev smiles, and goes to check on Stan, who is lying down on a bed in his cell)

XEV: I like this planet. I like Nook
STAN: You would
XEV: How about you?
STAN: Oh - I don't know. It's all right I guess

(Xev blows him a kiss, then shuts the door)

STAN: Night Xev
XEV: Night night

(Kai is in another cell, looking out of the window. Xev comes in)

XEV: Sweet dreams, Kai
KAI: I do not dream
XEV: Then - sleep well
KAI: I do not sleep
XEV: Then - goodnight
KAI: Thank you

(Xev leaves, closing the door behind her)

KAI: Goodnight to you too

(He carries on looking out of the window)

(Next morning. Kai is in a primitive lab with Brother Randor)

RAND: I hope that this process is not testing your patience. This protoblood of yours is a very interesting substance to me

(He takes a sample of protoblood, puts it into a little bottle)

RAND: It is not out of the question that we possess the knowledge to duplicate it
KAI: Would that not be bad knowledge?

(Brother Randor takes a pipette of a green liquid, which drips onto a cloth)

RAND: Knowledge of how your protoblood works could be added to our library - of course, it is knowledge that we would preserve, not that we would use

(He uses the cloth to wipe Kai's protoblood tube, before pushing it back into place. Kai does his costume up, and watches a monk pouring milk into a funnel, which leads into a translucent barrel type structure. A man's silhouette is visible inside)

KAI: In a number of my memories, there is an awareness of the planet of the milk fed boys. Is Nook perhaps that planet?
RAND: I know nothing of other planets. What goes on in this room is the only knowledge we use from the time before the Landing

(Kai goes to the barrel for a closer look)

RAND: We have a supply of cells of great men, who lived in the time before the Landing. We grow these cells into new brothers here in this room. When there is a need, we awaken a new brother to join us. If we did not use this knowledge we could not continue
KAI: I suspect that before the Landing your ancestors, if I may call them that, possessed quite a bit of knowledge
RAND: Quite a bit of bad knowledge

(Outside in the courtyard, monks are sitting at tables, making costumes and masks. Stan wanders over to Brother Tregor, who is adding feathers to his costume)

TREG: We never wear the same costume two years in a row
STAN: Oh yeah?

(He perches on the end of the table, starts playing with a bit of string. Brother Tregor looks around, makes sure no-one is listening)

TREG: Can you read?
STAN: Yeah, of course
TREG: I knew it! Are you allowed to read anything you want, where you come from?
STAN: Well, there wasn't much of anything to read on the Cluster, but when I was an Ostral B heretic there was lots of stuff you could read, if you had the time - but I was usually kinda too busy
TREG: I can read too. And I'm a copying brother
STAN: Yeah?
TREG: Copying brothers are not supposed to be able to read. I know that it is wrong but, I read the pages that I copy. It took me a long time to read my first word but that day - it was like magic. It wasn't long before I could read most words - I don't understand what they all say, but - Stanley - I hunger for knowledge. It infects me like - like a sickness. We're never given more than one page from any book, so I only learn disconnected bits and pieces, but Stanley -
STAN: Yeah?
TREG: I have read some of the pages of the old men of wisdom, and they say -
STAN: What?

(Stan wipes his fingers, gets up from the table)

TREG: They say that the unexamined life is not worth knowing

(Stan doesn't seem to get this, and goes back to cleaning his fingers - until he feels a hand on his shoulder. Brother Tregor is standing behind him, wearing his bird mask)

TREG: You shouldn't fear your feelings, Stanley
STAN: Oh

(Stan moves away from Brother Tregor)

STAN: Now I see what you're getting at - but there's just one problem. See, I'm a man - well, I don't know if that means anything to you, but it happens to be quite important to me
TREG: We're all men here on Nook

(Stan looks at him, then gives up and walks away)

(In the sauna, it's Xev's turn for a massage. She's lying face down on the table, wearing only her rubber bits - plus a towel over her bottom. As her back is kneaded, she moans with pleasure, making quite an impression on the monks who are there. As her purrs and moans get louder, there is much moaning, writhing, and whipping with twigs - until a bell rings. The monks all pull towels around their waists and go, leaving Xev alone and frustrated)

(Later - Stan, Xev and Kai are standing outside their cells. Two monks walk by - one wants to look at Xev, but the other pulls him away)

KAI: I sense that our presence is making some of the inhabitants of this planet uncomfortable
XEV: They are making me uncomfortable
STAN: Well I'm ready to take off, anytime

(He looks at Xev. She remembers their agreement, and nods. Four more monks walk past - Xev grabs Brother Stack, pushes him against a wall. He gasps, but pushes her back)

STACK: Just one more night. Tomorrow night is the Summer Solstice, then I will be yours. I'll be the rat

(He walks away. Xev sighs)

XEV: What is this Summer Solstice thing?
KAI: Each year at the Summer Solstice, the many rules that govern the very orderly life here on Nook to not apply from sunset till sunrise. They wear costumes to keep the rule breaking more anonymous. I suspect that tomorrow night, you will find Brother Stack dressed as a rodent

(Sunset. The Lexx flies low over Nook. Stan is asleep in bed, but wakes up when his door opens)

STAN: Brother Tregor?

(Brother Tregor is standing in the doorway. He takes off his tunic - beneath it he's only wearing a loincloth)

TREG: Is my body not beautiful?
STAN: Well yeah, I suppose, if you're into that sorta thing
TREG: I have read that, before the Landing, men loved each other, and did not always live by the type of rules that now bind you and me. Let us break the rules tonight, Brother Stanley. You and I, we do not need to wait for the Summer Solstice. We will live by our own rules
STAN: Look, Brother Tregor, uh, I appreciate what you're saying and, er, I'm flattered, in a weird sort of way, but I prefer women
TREG: What is women?
STAN: Well - they're like men, only built different (smiles) They're - rounder, softer, with breasts you can fondle and parts you can fit nicely into, if everything works out - Xev, Xev is a woman. See, men are attracted to women, women are attracted to men, it's natural
TREG: I am attracted to you
STAN: Well, I like you too Brother Tregor, but not in the way I can like a woman
TREG: I prefer you over Brother Xev. I know there's been a lot of whispering about him, and many of the brothers seem to be very excited when Brother Xev is around, but -

(He walks to the bed)

TREG: I get excited when you are around, Brother Stanley

(Stan gets out of bed, backs into a corner, wraps a blanket around his waist. Brother Tregor leans on the bed, reaches out to Stan)

TREG: I want you to hold me. I will make you happy
STAN: Do the brothers here ever hold each other? Do things that make each other happy?
TREG: Yes, on the Night of No Rules. Tomorrow night - but I don't care about that. I want you tonight, Stanley

(Brother Tregor moves closer, but Stan holds up his hand)

STAN: Ah ah! I can't do this
TREG: Do you like me, Brother Stanley?
STAN: (thinks) Er -
TREG: Admit it! Admit what is in your heart!
STAN: Look, Brother Tregor, I, I like you - but that being that there re things that I am prepared to do, and things I'm not!
TREG: Break the rules, Brother Stanley. I sense that you need someone to be close to you, to comfort you. Let it be me
STAN: Look, Brother Tregor - OK, I admit that I have needs that don't get a lot of satisfaction these days. I mean, you're nice, and as men go you're good looking, and if you were a woman I'd be there right now, sooner than now, in fact. But - you are a man, and I am a man, and I can't!

(Brother Tregor gets up off the bed)

TREG: Brother Stanley - I will wait for you by the front gate. If you want me - I'm yours. If you do not want me - my life is over

(He picks up his tunic and leaves. Stan goes to call after him - but doesn't know what to say)

(Kai is in his cell, watching the two moons. He turns away from the window, then stops, and falls onto his bed. The door opens...)

(Stan sits up in bed. He obviously hasn't been able to get to sleep)

STAN: What difference would it really make? What, are you afraid? Xev doesn't want ya, there're no females on this planet, I 'm ready to explode! - I think that - I think - Ah! I think I don't know what to think

(He picks up his uniform, puts on his hat)

STAN: Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy

(Brother Tregor is standing by the gate, shivering, crying. He hears a sound, looks around)

(Stan is sneaking through the courtyard)

STAN: (whispers) Brother Tregor?

(He bumps into a pile of baskets. Brother Tregor hears it. His face lights up)

TREG: Brother Stanley? Is that you?

(Stan is tidying the baskets up, when he hears Kai's brace, and a scream. He heads for it, looks)

STAN: Oh boy. Oh boy

(He runs away - into another pile of baskets. The noise wakes some monks, who open their shutters and see him)

(Next morning. A monk feeding the chickens by the gate sees something. He drops the bag of seed and runs back inside)

MONK: Brother Randor!

(Monks gather around, look down. Brother Tregor is lying on the ground, a bloody hole in his chest. Brother Deal closes Tregor's eyes)

MONK: There is no weapon
MONK: Maybe it was a bird, with a sharp beak
MONK: Brother Tregor left his cell last night after the sleep time bell had rung. I have seen him entering the strangers hallway
MONK: I heard what sounded like a scream of pain. I opened the shutter, and saw Brother Stanley running away from the gate
MONK: As did I
MONK: And I!
MONK: And I!

(Monks lift Tregor's body onto a stretcher, carry it inside the gates, place it on a table in front of Brother Randor)

DEAL: It could have been either Brother Stanley, or Brother Kai
RAND: Perhaps both of them were involved in the event. Likely all three were involved

(Two monks drag Stan in)

STAN: I was just out for some fresh air!
RAND: Murder has been committed. We must balance the taking of Brother Tregor's life
ELDER: What is murder?
RAND: To murder is to intentionally end the life of another man

(The monks gasp - this is obviously a new concept to them)

RAND: Come brothers - it is time for justice

(Xev has arrived)

XEV: Hey! Stanley Tweedle may not be much of a man, but he wouldn't kill anyone
RAND: Ignore her!
XEV: And Kai wouldn't kill anybody either
RAND: Brother Kai told me that he was an assassin (to monks) - an assassin, is a man that kills other men - and that he used his brace in order to kill these men. Come - in order to preserve harmony, we must have justice
XEV: Where is Kai?
MONK: He's still asleep in his cell
ELDER: Brother of Brothers - you are behaving in a most unfamiliar way
DEAL: A death amongst us has always been a time for contemplation
ELDER: And you're using unfamiliar words. What is a she? And what is this justice?
RAND: Can it be just a coincidence that the only murder that we have ever known has happened at a time when we have received visitors to our beloved Nook?
STAN: I didn't kill anyone! I would never kill Brother Tregor, I liked him!
RAND: We must cancel the Night of No Rules

(The other brothers don't like the sound of this)

RAND: We must focus our attention on what happened to our dear Brother Tregor, so as to prevent it from happening again
DEAL: You cannot cancel the Night of No Rules. That would be a change - and we are sworn never to allow change
ELDER: I fear, Brother Randor, you have been exposed to some of the library's most tainted secrets
DEAL: Perhaps you should pass the key to a new brother amongst brothers, while you pass some time in meditation
RAND: Brother Deal is correct. We cannot allow change
MONKS: No, we can't
RAND: I shall retire with the elder brothers to contemplate these terrible circumstances

(Brother Randor looks at Xev, then walks away. The monks let go of Stan)

STAN: (to Xev) Thanks
XEV: So Kai's asleep?
STAN: Well, the dead are unpredictable. Look, Xev - I'll let you off the hook with our arrangement, if we can just get off this planet right now
XEV: I think, Stan, everything's OK now. I'll be happy to leave this planet tomorrow. But I think tonight - you know? I have to be - here
STAN: Uh huh. Uh huh

(Kai is asleep on his bed. Stan and Xev knock, but he doesn't answer. They enter his cell)

STAN: He is asleep

(Stan starts shaking Kai)

XEV: Kai - wake up!

(Kai wakes up)

KAI: To wake up, I would have had to have been asleep

(He sits up)

STAN: So - were you asleep?
KAI: No

(The dead look a bit confused about this)

XEV: Then what were you doing lying down like that?
KAI: I do not know

(The elder monks are sitting on tables. Brother Randor is pouring beans into a bowl)

RAND: The visitors must be punished
ELDER: Brother Randor, to punish is not to live in harmony. To punish would change the way we live
RAND: We must stop them now. I fear this night. This red haired man Xev is sowing confusion and lust amongst our brothers
DEAL: He certainly has a most unusual shape. Even I find myself taking an extra look
RAND: We must stop them tonight before it is too late
ELDER: But how can we do something when we never do anything that is not part of our unchanging habit?
RAND: Brother Tregor's murder was not a part of our unchanging habit! And this is just the beginning. These visitors mean the end of our way of life

(Brother Deal, pats Brother Randor on the shoulder, but he shrugs him off)

DEAL: I'm concerned about you, Brother Randor. You are highly agitated
RAND: We have never had visitors since the Landing. Visitors are change. These are truly terrible circumstances. Brothers - I must use the library

(The elders look at each other. Bells start to ring, as the sun sets)

(Kai is crouched down by the gates, looking at some bloodstained straw. He gets out his brace and runs his thumb along the blade - there's blood there too)

(Stan is lying on his bed. Xev looks in on him)

XEV: Coming?
STAN: No. I don't feel up for it
XEV: I definitely do

(She dances away. Stan lays his head down)

(Brother Randor is in his lab. He looks around furtively, then moves some shelves aside to reveal a secret chamber. He goes inside, and removes the cover from a big glass jar on a plinth. He takes some of the green liquid from the jar, puts it in a test tube, and walks away. The chamber looks like a cross between a cathedral and a factory - all stained glass and metal pipes, going a long way down)

(It's the Night of No Rules. The monks are all dressed in animal costumes, playing music on lutes and horns, dancing. Xev has chosen to dress as a cat - face paint, fluffy white tail, ears. She pulls on her kitten mittens and starts dancing with the brothers, meowing very cutely. Brother Randor has also joined the party, dressed as a bumblebee. Xev gets up on a step and puts herself on display)

XEV: Who wants to play with the cat?
ROOSTER: I do. I want to play with the cat
DONKEY: No way, I want to

(The donkey pushes the rooster aside, but the rooster pushes back)

ROOSTER: I answered him first, he's mine!
DONKEY: Get out of here, Rooster!

(And then Brother Stack arrives, dressed as a rat)

RAT: I'm the rat. He wants me - you said do!

(A fight breaks out. Xev looks on in dismay)

XEV: Boys! Boys!

(Brother Randor checks no-one is watching him, then pours the green liquid into a barrel sitting on a small cart. He puts on his bee antennae, and pulls the cart over to the monks, who help themselves to the contents of the barrel)

RAND: Hot honeyed wine for the Summer Solstice. The bee brings his favourite nectar. A wine that will make everything burn brighter, and take the sting out of this damaged life

(The brothers drink and dance. Brother Randor drinks as well, then throws his cup away. He takes off his antennae and leaves the party)

(Stan is in the doorway of cell, his hat in his hands. He sees two brothers run into the next cell, clearly having fun together. Then he notices a brother dressed as a rat passed out on the floor nearby. Stan smiles, and walks over to him)

(Kai is reading in the library)

(Xev has had enough of the fight, and decides to break it up)

RAT1: I'm the rat! I'm the rat!
XEV: Stop this! Don't waste your energy fighting! Save it for love

(She helps the rat up - and another rat appears)

RAT2: No, it's me you want
XEV: Hmm - two's OK. You'll both do

(She takes their hands and leads them away - and another rat appears)

RAT3: And me?
XEV: I don't mind

(A very familiar looking rat runs after them)

STAN: Me too, I'm a rat too!

(Kai leaves the library. Xev reaches her cell, pushes the rats inside)

RAT1: I'm first
RAT2: Then me?
XEV: No, he's first - and you're first
RAT3: And what about me?
XEV: Oh, you're first too

(She follows them in, goes to shut the door - and Stan the rat arrives)

STAN: Me too!
XEV: I know that voice

(She steps out, lifts up his mask)

XEV: Stanley

(She shakes her head and goes into her cell, shutting the door behind her. Stan sighs)

(In the secret chamber. Brother Randor has just finished pouring the green liquid into a hole in the plinth when Kai arrives)

KAI: You must reverse your action
RAND: It is too late

(Kai aims his brace at Brother Randor)

RAND: Go ahead, kill me if you like. That will make no more difference now. What is done cannot be undone. The bird has left the cage

(He throws the jar to the ground. Kai grabs him, brace at his throat)

KAI: You said you were not supposed to consume the tainted secrets in your library unless compelled by terrible circumstances
RAND: I fear that I have not been able to control my thirst. The knowledge contained in the library is my weakness - but it is also my strength

(He breaks free from Kai's grip. Kai retracts his brace, looks at the plinth)

KAI: How did you shut me down last night?
RAND: I wanted to be rid of you, and the changes that you brought to Nook. So when I took a sample of your protoblood I gave you an enzyme, that neutralised you for a few hours
KAI: And you took my brace, and you killed Brother Tregor
RAND: I thought that I could save us all, by sacrificing one life
KAI: You were also willing to sacrifice Brother Stanley
RAND: It was the foolish plan of a foolish old man. I should have known it was over the minute that woman landed on Nook
KAI: So, you know what a woman is
RAND: In the terrible time before the Landing, some great men had a vision, of an unchanging paradise, and they created, on our Nook, a world without women. A planet of perfect harmony and equality, free of the never-ending conflict that naturally goes with the competition of sexual reproduction. That is over now. Everything must end sometime, I suppose

(Stan is lying on his bed, listening to the moans and cries coming from Xev's cell. He tries to block his ears with a pillow. Brother Stack, wearing Xev's cat ears, staggers out of her cell, slumps to the floor. Xev follows him out and puts her ear to his chest, listening for a heartbeat)

(In the secret chamber, Brother Randor has started to cry)

RAND: This planet was covered with water. They created the land we lived on. And they created the perfect way of life, that we have lived ever since the terrible time before the Landing
KAI: How long ago was that?
RAND: I do not know. We have no reason to keep records of our unchanging life. But I do know tonight it is over. Tonight is the death of our Father Nook
KAI: You seem certain of that
RAND: I am certain of that. The arrival of that woman Xev has destroyed our harmony to such a point that we can never, never repair it. A woman setting foot on our beloved Nook, is the event that has created his death

(Kai looks at Brother Randor, then walks away)

(Xev holds Brother Stack in her arms)

XEV: Brother Stack? Brother Stack?!

(Another rat crawls out of her cell)

RAT2: His heart has failed
XEV: Goodbye Brother Stack

(She kisses his nose)

XEV: You were quite (smiles) a lot

(Brother Stack opens his eyes)

STACK: I'm ready for more!
XEV: It's still love time on Nook! We have to hurry, the sun will be up soon

(They get up, and the monks go back into her cell - then Kai arrives)

KAI: Yes - we must hurry
XEV: Kai, I finally did it! I've experienced physical man love and the pure uncomplicated satisfaction of it, just like 790 programmed me to!

(Kai looks into the bedroom, then at Xev)

XEV: And I liked it - a lot! (smiles)
KAI: We must leave this planet
XEV: Why? It's not dawn yet. The party's just starting to get going

(Stan joins them in the hallway)

STAN: Well like I said, I'm ready to leave anytime
KAI: Stanley, Brother Randor killed Brother Tregor. The Brother of Brothers misused knowledge contained in the library. He was able to control my actions for a short time - but that time is now past. Come

(He walks, stops, looks back at them)

KAI: Brother Randor believed that their way of life on Nook had been destroyed by our visit. This being the end of that way of life, he has determined that the planet itself should come to an end
STAN: I don't exactly get that
KAI: He has set in motion an unstoppable process that will cause Nook to destroy itself. When the sun rises, Nook will explode into atoms
STAN: Now that I get

(He follows Kai. Xev has a last look back at the bedroom)

(Brother Randor staggers drunkenly out of the gates, books in one hand, mug in the other)

RAND: I drink (laughs, drinks) I drink to womankind. I drink to those women who once gave us all life, and I drink now to that woman who gives me death

(He drinks, then throws his mug away, and watches the moth take off. The other monks wave goodbye. The sun rises over Nook. There is an explosion in the secret chamber. Brother Randor vanishes in a flash of light, as do the other brothers. The Lexx flies away, as all the water is boiled off Nook, leaving bare rock, which explodes. On the bridge, the crew watch the chunks fly away on the view screen)

790: Oh, explosions of joy and good riddance (laughs)
STAN: Unbelievable

(He gets up onto the pedestal. Xev sits on the floor)

STAN: Next time. Next time Xev, listen to me
790: No Xev, wondrous woman who I forgive even under this terrible circumstance, next time listen to me!

(Xev puts her head on her hand - and smiles)

© Filking Fairy