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Lexx 2.15 Woz
(written by Paul Donovan, Lex Gigeroff)

(The Lexx flies through space. Stan and Xev are eating in the galley)

STAN: This is beautiful, beautiful, my favourite
XEV: Oh, yuck
790: At least you won't have to eat it much longer, tragic love of mine
XEV: What are you talking about?
790: I was just contemplating a coincidence relating to the unspeakable tragedy approaching us
XEV: What tragedy?
790: (sobs) I can't! It's too horrible to talk about!
XEV: Talk
790: Please don't make me!
STAN: Oh, spit it out, metal mind
790: I refuse to answer him
XEV: Well - then answer me
790: My name is 790 - and - and -
XEV: And? Go on
790: And you have 79 hours left!
XEV: 79 hours left, what are you talking about?
790: The 79 hours until your expiry date!
XEV: My what?
STAN: What are you talking about?
790: Your shutdown time
XEV: I don't understand
790: (sobs) You are a love slave. I, 790, the robot who loves you, turned you into a love slave, and like all love slaves I gave you an expiry date, and yours is 79 hours from now
XEV: Meaning what?
790: Meaning your life will expire in 79 hours! (sobs)
STAN: (angry) And just why didn't you say anything until now?
790: I thought you knew!

(Xev is stunned. She sinks down on a seat)

790: All love slaves have expiration dates. It was just something too painful to talk about. I thought you knew! I have failed my beloved (sobs)

(Everyone is now in the cryochamber)

KAI: 790, if you were the one who made Xev into a love slave, surely you can alter her expiry date
790: I could, I could, I could - if I had a Lusticon it would be easy
STAN: What's a Lusticon?
790: The love slave transformation machine that I operated. The machine that transformed a thousand unimportant fatballs into a thousand irrelevant beauty queens. The machine that transformed my beloved. The machine that was lost for all time when we destroyed the Cluster
STAN: But was that the only one?
790: Criminal justice in the 20,000 Planets was centralised on the Cluster. No others were needed
XEV: Could we build a new one?
790: (gasps) There was a prototype. A primitive prototype constructed before my time. It was sent to a remote planet called Woz. They were having difficulty keeping clerics there, so the prototype Lusticon was sent to Woz to provide them with love slaves
KAI: Woz was a distant outpost of the League of 20,000 Planets. It was a supply depot of the Divine Order run by clerics
XEV: Can we make it there in 79 hours?
KAI: Yes
STAN: Well, let's go
XEV: I hope it still exists

(Woz. A dusty stormy planet. Tornadoes swirl around a huge tower. Inside is the Dark Lady, dressed in black, with a large head-dress, and a veil across her face - only her eyes are visible. Nearby are her guards - pretty girls with blond hair, black helmets and short yellow dresses. They are watching a woman who is strapped to a slab like machine. A light passes over her)

(A nice shot up through a tornado, to the outer atmosphere. The Lexx has reached Woz.. A moth flies down, carrying Stan, Xev, Kai and 790. It gets caught in the storm)

KAI: Woz is known for its sudden and intense storms
XEV: I can't see a thing

(There's a lot of debris flying around. They land on something - something that squeaks)

STAN: What was that?
XEV: We landed, I think

(They get out of the moth. The Dark Lady watches them through a crystal ball on her desk)

DARK: A little closer, please... that's pretty too

(The moth has landed near some ruins. Some girls peer at the Lexx crew through the windows. There are a pair of feet in striped stockings sticking out from under the moth)

STAN: Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my

(He is standing on some yellow paving stones)

KAI: She appears to be dead
XEV: Oh no. Now what?
KAI: I suggest we try this way

(The Dark Lady watches them, sits down)

DARK: Well, I wonder what he's up to now?

(The Lexx crew make their way to a nearby building. A voice at the door greets them)

WOZZ: Welcome, Brightness seekers

(They enter the building. Inside are several plain girls, wearing black jump-suits with red neck scarves, weaving baskets)

SKYE: Please come in, and welcome to our house. Sisters - we have visitors. This is Xev - she's a love slave

(The sister all smile at her)

SKYE: Excuse me

(She walks away. Stan moves to follow her, but another girl holds him back)

CALICO: The Wozzard will be with you
STAN: The what?
CALICO: The Wozzard

(Skye returns with the Wozzard - a man who sounds like His Divine Shadow)

WOZZ: Why did you crush our beloved sister with your bug?
STAN: Huh?
KAI: It was unintentional
STAN: Yeah, yeah, we couldn't see her, we couldn't see anything
WOZZ: I believe you. You will forgive me for thinking that it was intentional. The Dark Lady has been trying to extinguish our brightness. It is fortunate that we found you before she did. The Dark Lady is pure evil. She destroys women
XEV: Look, I'm a love slave, and I'm reaching my expiry time. I need your help
KAI: Can you help her?
WOZZ: Of course I can help her

(He puts his arm around Xev)

STAN: (mutters) I don't like this

(The Wozzard leads them to a machine. The sisters take the cover off it - it looks a lot like the machine the Dark Lady was using)

WOZZ: This is not a true Lusticon, but guided by the Brightness we have learned how the evil machine works. Using this fabrication of mine, I can adjust your expiration date
KAI: What is the purpose of this machine?
WOZZ: It serves the special needs of love slaves - love slaves like Xev

(Xev puts 790 down on the head of the slab, then gets onto it, lies down)

790: She's running out of time. Hurry!
WOZZ: I'm sorry to have to make this demand, but I've been touched by the Brightness
KAI: What demand?
WOZZ: Will you be our beloved brothers?
STAN: I'm sorry - what did you say?
WOZZ: In exchange for the loss of our beloved sister Dodo. You two will become our beloved brothers, and you, our beloved sister
KAI: What is a beloved brother?
WOZZ: A beloved brother is one who would complete the mission our beloved sister was carrying out
STAN: Just what was this mission?
WOZZ: It was our dream to stop the suffering of her sisters. She was going to find a way through the perimeter, destroy the Dark Lady's Lusticon machine, and end her life. But that dream was crushed
STAN: Well look, that was an accident. I'm sorry, but look I told you, that was just an accident
WOZZ: Dodo's death need not have been in vain, sisters. Her death has brought us a new hope. Please will you complete our mission?
STAN: So, wait - you, want us, to kill the Dark Lady?
WOZZ: It is an unpleasant request, I know
STAN: Unpleasant?!
WOZZ: But you may be our only opportunity to rid the universe of the Dark Lady's evil
KAI: 790, can you operate this machine?
790: It is a very unfamiliar variation of the Lusticon
STAN: I thought these machines were your speciality
790: It seems to be missing the marker unit, which I require in order to operate it
KAI: How long before Xev expires?
790: Three hours and six minutes. You will have to rely on that blowhard

(Kai aims his brace at the Wozzard)

KAI: Wozzard - help Xev now. I must insist
WOZZ: You can kill me if you must, my life is not important. Deliver me to the Brightness. I want to assure all of you, I would not do this if there were any other way. It is a mission that would suit you - Kai
XEV: How do you know his name?

(Kai retracts his brace)

WOZZ: I once studied to be a cleric in the Divine Order. Kai was - a dark legend. But then I was touched by the Brightness. Since that time I have fought the Divine Order and its evil residue
STAN: Yeah, well so have we

(The Dark Lady watches. She can see Xev on the Lusticon)

DARK: Now what is he up to?

WOZZ: With the collapse, the Lusticon fell into the hands of the Dark Lady. She used it to transform the beautiful natural bodies of women into cliched male driven images of desirability
STAN: How, how, terrible
WOZZ: These girls, they think it's going to be wonderful. That they're going to have the pretty perfect little life. The Dark Lady does not tell them that what she really does is to transform their bodies into those ridiculous aberrations, so that she can sell them into the sex slave market. She does not tell these pitiful girls that she gives them expiry dates for just seven days later, so that her market of incomplete male monsters are always hungry for more
KAI: How doe you know she only gives them seven days?

(Skye brings out a box. The Wozzard pushes a button on it. A hologram of a girl appears. She looks like the girls in the Dark Lady's tower)

HOLO: My name is Leela. I went to the Dark Lady, because I wanted to be beautiful. People always told me I was ugly. I just want people to like me. I'm sorry. I don't want to die. Please, somebody help me, please
WOZZ: We found her before I had built the machine. She died less than an hour later. The Dark Lady is a truly evil woman. Xev's life, in exchange for the Dark Lady's
KAI: If Xev and Stan request that I complete that bargain, I will

(Stan thinks about this)

STAN: Uh, well - well she does, she sounds like, I mean, she really is a, you know, pretty bad, pretty evil person and yeah maybe she er, maybe she maybe even does deserve to die
WOZZ: If there were an evil tree, she would be the roots
790: Kai, just kill her, without delay! My beloved's time is ebbing away!
XEV: I don't know if I can ask you to kill someone, Kai. It doesn't feel right
790: Yes it does! Tweedle, you human skid mark, tell Kai to do it at once!
STAN: Well, um, I er, I don't see that we've really got much of a choice. Do you?

(He looks down at Xev)

WOZZ: I sense that you are beginning to be touched by the Brightness, my brothers

(The Dark Lady continues watching in her globe. Behind her, the girls exercise)

(Stan and Kai are making their way through a storm to the Dark Lady's tower)

STAN: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Look - doesn't killing somebody bother you?
STAN: Not even a little?
KAI: To be bothered, I would have to be alive

(Kai carries on walking)

STAN: Well all I gotta say is, she may be evil and everything, but I don't know if I could be the one to actually kill her
KAI: If you like, I will provide you with an opportunity to find out
STAN: No no no, that's all right. I mean, you're the one with the experience, right?

(The Wozzard is positioning a piece of machinery above Xev's head. Xev is now strapped to the Lusticon)

WOZZ: Soon, you won't have to worry about being a love slave. You will be able to put the sick male need for penetration behind you
XEV: Actually it hasn't been that bad - being a love slave, I mean
WOZZ: I'm sorry?
XEV: Well, I wasn't exactly happy with the way I looked before
WOZZ: Real beauty does not lie on the surface, Xev. It rests within you

(He picks up 790)

790: Put me down, you irritating self-righteous manipulative pseudo-religious charlatan! And Xev?
XEV: Yes?
790: You're my number one

(The Wozzard hands 790 to one of the sisters)

WOZZ: Are you in touch with your true nature?
XEV: I think so
WOZZ: Good

(The sisters gather around him. He operates the Lusticon, and a light moves down Xev's body. She moans. The sisters smile)

(Stan and Kai arrive at the perimeter. Tall posts with red light on, and red energy beams running between them. There are skeletons on the ground nearby)

STAN: Oh. I don't think we should go this way
KAI: Why not?

(Kai steps up to the fence)

STAN: Kai!

(Kai crosses the beam, and energy crackles through him. He falls back)

STAN: Kai? Oh. Oh boy

(Kai gets up. That section of the fence now has green lights. He steps through the gap. Stan checks it with his hand first, then follows him. They head for the tower)

VOICE: The perimeter has been breached. The perimeter has been breached. The perimeter has been breached

WOZZ: I have a surprise for you. I have unlocked your inner beauty

(He holds up a mirror for Xev to see herself - she is back in her original pre-love slave body, complete with white dress)

ZEV: Why have you done this to me?
WOZZ: I have a small confession to make. I cannot readjust your clock. My machine doesn't have the right parts, and I don't care much about that anyway. It's too late. But I have done something much much better for you
ZEV: No, you haven't
WOZZ: People have filled your head with the silly idea that the pure purpose of your body was to serve as a beacon of attraction for the human male
ZEV: I like human males!
WOZZ: You are free now, Xev. Free from the tyranny of your own sexual oppression. Free from that manmade plastic shell
ZEV: I want to be the way I was!
WOZZ: That's not you talking Xev, it's your conditioning. You're saying what they want you to think. Let it go Xev, let it go
ZEV: No!

(She tries to break free, in tears)

WOZZ: You have less than two hours left. I can't change that, but at least you can now spend them being the person you really are
ZEV: Please, let me go. I wanna be with my friends
WOZZ: They're not your real friends Xev. They don't have the Brightness - we do. If I release you, you would just try to fight your inner self. Use what little time you have left concentrating on the person inside you. It will be better, I know that
ZEV: Let me go!
WOZZ: And Xev?
ZEV: Yes?
WOZZ: You could say thank you
ZEV: Thank you?!
WOZZ: You're welcome

(Zev cries)

WOZZ: You can go out in darkness, or in Brightness. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see the Dark Lady
ZEV: What if I don't want to go on at all?

(The Wozzard is not impressed by this. He leaves. The sisters set up a video screen and speakers by Zev's head. Other sisters get out a jacket covered in red plastic tubes. They clip it onto the Wozzard, a fanatical look in their eyes)

WOZZ: Tonight, we become agents of light. We become beacons of truth. We will make the ultimate sacrifice and illuminate the darkness forever and all time. This is it!
SISTERS: This is it, brother!
WOZZ: The wicked bitch is dead!

(Stan and Kai have made it to the doors of the tower. A hatch opens, and a lens pops out, showing the Dark Lady's eyes)

DARK: Yes?
KAI: We have come for the Dark Lady
DARK: What do you want with her?
KAI: We are coming on behalf of the Wozzard
STAN: Oh, you didn't have to say that!
DARK: What for?
KAI: To kill her

(Stan can't believe he's hearing this)

DARK: The Dark Lady is gone. Now you should leave too. Goodbye

(The hatch closes. Kai seems baffled)

KAI: They will not let us in
STAN: (sarcastic) Well, that's a big surprise

(Kai looks up at the tower, holds out his hand to Stan)

KAI: Hold onto me
STAN: What?
KAI: Give me your hand
STAN: What?

(Kai puts his arm around Stan, fires his brace, and pulls them up into the tower)

DARK: Girls, they're in the building. Find and capture them, now

(The girls march off)

DARK: This is a bad business to be in

(Zev is about to experience the daftest brainwashing video ever - a really really bad animation - deliberately so. A song plays in the background - over and over and over)

Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away
Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay

WOZZ: In the beginning there was the Brightness. And out of the Brightness came the stars, the planets, and all the life on them

(A hand lays out paper cut outs of stars, planet, moon)

Then came the hand of Man, the destroyer of planets, the taker of life

(A hand crumples up the planet, brushes the stars aside - and puts down a walnut)

This nut accurately represents the brain of Man, and these fruits his body

(A kiwi fruit, a banana)

And this is how the manbodybrain sees the human female -

(Grapefruit halves with cherries, a peach)

But that is the manbodylie. This is the womanbodytruth

(The fruit woman is swept away, replaced by a sprig of parsley, two figs, a pear, and two carrots)

You are a lifegiver. You must destroy the destroyer. You must seek the Brightness

(A cleaver hacks at the banana, a mallet squashes the walnut, kiwifruit)

(Kai and Stan wander through the tower. The girls are also patrolling the corridors)

GIRL1: Tarry, you're with me

(Two girls head down a different corridor. The other four carry on)

STAN: Whoa, wait Kai, look - I'm kinda nervous about going any further, I mean, I don't know why I'm involved in this in the first place
KAI: I do not require assistance. Perhaps you should stay here instead
STAN: I'm nervous about staying here too

(Two girls appear at the end of the corridor. Stan ducks into a side passage)

GIRL: Halt!

(They have blackpaks, which they fire at Kai - he simply absorbs the blast and carries on walking towards them. He grabs their wrists)

KAI: I have come for the Dark Lady

(Stan emerges from hiding, and takes the blackpaks)

STAN: Yeah. Yeah, we've come for the Dark Lady

(The Dark Lady is watching. She speaks into a microphone)

DARK: Girls, I want them stopped. I keep asking but no-one's doing anything!

(Zev is still watching the animation. The vegetable woman dances across the screen, to silly sound effects)

WOZZ: Find the light inside yourself, sister. Revel in who you are, and not in who you are not. Strive for the Brightness, for the light of the lifegiver is truth. Know the beauty of the flower, and the desperation of the seed. Be at peace with your maker, whatever you conceive her to be

Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away
Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay

(Kai is still searching for the Dark Lady, while Stan holds the girls captive. They are sitting on the ground, but he still gets nervous whenever they move)

STAN: Hey, uh - no. No

(He peers out into the corridor, then aims the blackpaks at the girls. One girl smiles at him. She opens her legs, puts her hand on her thigh)

STAN: Hey, just stop!

(Both girls turn to face him)

STAN: Ah ah ah. Uh Uh. No

(One girl runs her hand up her body, onto her breast)

STAN: Just stop!

(She stops - with her hand still on her breast)

STAN: That's good

(Then she starts stroking her breast. The other girl coughs, puts her hand to her mouth - then starts rubbing her finger around her lips. Stan gulps. She slips her fingers into her mouth, and Stan licks his lips, nervously. She sucks her fingers, smiles, and gets up)

STAN: Look, I think it's only fair to warn you that I'm an assassin. I've killed a lot of people

(Now the other girl stands up)

STAN: I mean you, you don't mean anything to me

(The girls start to walk around the room. Stan tries to aim the blackpaks at both of them)

STAN: Oh yeah, I see what your game is. Well it's not gonna work, you hear me?

(One girl walks over to him)

STAN: Don't push me, because I'll shoot, I will. Stop!

(The girl stops, laughs)

STAN: Well, good. Glad to see to see you girls are finally getting some sense

(He hears something behind him - it's two more girls, with blackpaks aimed at his head)

GIRL: Hello

(Kai is still walking. Two more girls fire at him, but the blasts spread harmlessly across his body, and the girls run away)

(The Wozzard and the sisters have reached the perimeter fence)

WOZZ: Go sisters, go quickly!

(They go through the gap, and head for the tower)

(It's Stan's turn to be held captive in the centre of the room. He holds his hands up, as the four girls aim their blackpaks at him)

STAN: Look look, point that somewhere else. Oh look, just - look, my name is Stanley Tweedle, and none of this was my idea

(The girls look at him)

STAN: I'm not an assassin, I just said that, because - look, the Wozzard forced us to come here. Oh come on, I mean, I'll do whatever you want
GIRL: Strip
STAN: What?
GIRL2: Strip. Yeah
STAN: Really? (the girl nods) OK

(He starts to undo his uniform)

STAN: (mutters) Oh man

(Meanwhile, the dancing vegetable torment continues)

Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away
Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay

WOZZ: And though men may lead you into darkness, know that you can always find true Brightness inside the sacred vessel of your womanbodytruth
790: Kai? Stan? Where are you when I need you?

(The Wozzard and the sisters are now crouched near the entrance to the tower)

WOZZ: This is the glowing time, sisters. We must eliminate everyone!
SKYE: May we see each other again in a brighter future
CALICO: May the Brightness reach you too. Thank you. Thank you for everything

(The Wozzard taps two sisters)

WOZZ: Go, go!

(The two go forward and fire blackpaks at the door - but they get vaporised. The Wozzard send two more girls in)

WOZZ: Into the fire, girls

(Two more girls are vaporised. The Wozzard takes a blackpak from one of the two remaining girls, and manages to blast through the door. They enter the tower)

(Zev sobs as the song continues)

Seek the Brightness sisters, may darkness go away
Seek the Brightness sisters, make a brand new day
Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away
Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay

ZEV: Make it stop, 790!
790: I wish I could, but I can't, Xevabulous one!
ZEV: It's torture!
790: Think of what I feel for you, Xev. Think of me in the 49 minutes we have left together!
ZEV: Oh, I think I'm starting to faint!
790: Stay with me, Xev!

(Stan takes off his T-shirt. He's down to his shorts - and hat, of course)

STAN: All the way?
GIRL: All the way

(He starts to lower his shorts - then two sisters rush into the room)

SKYE: I wouldn't do that, sister
GIRL: You're outnumbered, honey
CALICO: Put down your weapon
GIRL: Tell me why
SKYE: Tell me why you wanna die for the Dark Lady
CALICO: She only gave you seven days left to live
SKYE: She set your time expiry clock to seven days. Don't you understand?

(While all this is going on, Stan starts getting dressed)

SKYE: You're just cliched man driven images of desirability. You're just fodder for these incomplete man monsters
GIRL: Yeah, well I've been here a month
GIRL2: Three months
GIRL3: Two and a half
CALICO: See what happens, Skye? The sick male need for penetration turns your brain to mush
STAN: Now girls, there's a -
GIRL: Shut up!

(The girls point their blackpaks at the sisters)

SKYE: I said don't move
CALICO: You cannot deny the light
SKYE: It's the glowing time. May we meet again in a brighter future
STAN: Look, now look, everybody just, just -

(He ducks, as the firing starts. The girls and the sisters shoot each other, and Stan is the only one left alive)

STAN: Oh my. Oh my

(He walks past the little puddles that remain, and runs down the corridor, out of the tower)

(The Dark Lady is trying to contact her girls)

DARK: Is my shuttle ready? Can you hear me, is the shuttle ready? Is my shuttle ready?! Oh, no. No!

(She picks up her crystal ball, puts it down again. She gets out a blackpak - then sees Kai come into the room. He looks at the Lusticon. She fires at him, but quickly realises it's useless)

KAI: This is the Lusticon, and you are the Dark Lady?
DARK: Who are you?

(Kai raises his arm)

KAI: I am Kai. I have come to kill you

(He lowers his arm, walks over to her, and raises his hand to her veil - she grabs his wrist)

KAI: Before I kill you, would you remove your covering? I prefer to face my - victims, openly
DARK: Oh, I think I'll do us both a favour and politely decline. I'd really rather not die seeing your face twisted with revulsion at my appearance. Believe me, I'm a monster to behold
KAI: May I ask why you did not use the Lusticon on yourself?
DARK: Oh I did, many times - but it can do nothing for my deformity. Ironic, yes? - that I, who have never known anything but physical repulsion, should know more than anyone the power of physical attraction. I cannot make myself beautiful, but is it so wrong for me to try to give the gift of beauty to others?

(He looks away from her)

DARK: Then why do you want to kill me?
KAI: I do not want to kill you. I have agreed to kill you. I will regret your death
DARK: (laughs) Regret my death? I regret my life, and yet I still don't want to die. Kai, do you not have any feelings?

(Kai shakes his head)

KAI: No. I do not

(He raises his arm again, a frown on his face. The Dark Lady drops to her knees)

DARK: Please Kai. I beg you. Do not kill me. I am a good person

(He stands beside her, puts his brace to his neck)

KAI: I have killed many good people
WOZZ: Then get on with it Kai!

(The Wozzard is standing in the doorway. Kai looks at him)

WOZZ: She is anything but a good person. Kai, you may be dead, but you still behave like a man, with a head full of romantic notions - but that's OK. I only needed you to breach the perimeter fence. I'll take over from here

(Kai puts his brace away)

KAI: Where's Xev?
WOZZ: Happy

(The Dark Lady aims her blackpak at the Wozzard)

WOZZ: Don't bother. I know I'm dead. And so are you. These are isotopic devices. I made them. They're plenty powerful enough to end all of this and they're already set, so what do you think?
DARK: Why do you hate me so?
WOZZ: They emit pure light. We are all going to die very brilliantly - but I don't hate you. I love you. I just hate what you do

(The Dark Lady stands up)

DARK: I know your type. You only love yourself. You hate everyone else
WOZZ: You are so wrong
DARK: I know what love is - because I've never had it
KAI: I will not kill you now
DARK: Oh, that makes me feel much better

(Kai walks over to the Wozzard)

KAI: But I do not think I can stop him. You do not seem to be as the Wozzard described you
WOZZ: She is pure evil Kai. Concentrated, hateful evil
DARK: Take a look in the mirror, fool
WOZZ: Do I exploit the biological weaknesses of young women? Twisting hearts with the cruel scalpel of male driven fantasies?
DARK: These girls come to me. I give them beauty, self-esteem -
WOZZ: And a seven day expiry date
DARK: What are you talking about?
WOZZ: Don't try to hide it. You sell their bodies into the sex slave market. That's the sort of thing that would come out of your twisted mind, witch monster!
DARK: Go ahead. Call me a monster

(She lowers her veil. There is nothing wrong with her face)

DARK: It's what I am. It's what everyone has called me all of my life. I know that I am hated, by stupid people, like you

(She takes off her head-dress. Her head is covered in misshapen bulges, wisps of hair)

DARK: But on the inside, I am no monster. On the inside, I am clean. On the inside, I am beautiful. You are the monster inside
WOZZ: Lies! I know what you've done. I've seen it with my own eyes. I've felt it with my own heart!
DARK: What are you saying?
WOZZ: You took the love of my life! She was beautiful on the inside. Then one day this poor fragile flower came to you, and you destroyed her. I never saw her again
DARK: Ah - so she became beautiful, and dumped you, yes? Left you alone. I understand
WOZZ: She already was beautiful
DARK: So now, you prey on the psyches of insecure women to take your revenge on me?

(Stan is running from the tower. He stops, looks back)

(The brainwashing song continues)

Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away
Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay

790: I love you Xev! (sobs) Do you - do you love me?

(But Zev is out cold)

790: Oh, universe of cruelty!

(The Wozzard is now in a world of his own. He's holding the detonator. Kai takes a component from the Lusticon, and runs out of the room)

WOZZ: Breathe in for the sisters - breathe out for the brothers. Breathe in for the sisters - breathe out for the brothers. Breathe in for the sisters - breathe out for the brothers!!!
DARK: You are a deeply, deeply, stupid man

(There is a huge explosion. Kai is knocked off his feet. Stan can see the explosion from the perimeter fence - he is just out of range. The tower is completely gone)

STAN: Kai! Kai, where are ya? Kai, are you all right?

(Kai appears, heading for the fence)

STAN: Oh. Oh my. What happened?
KAI: The Wozzard's bright idea

(Back with Zev. Kai inserts the extra component into the Lusticon. 790's eyes fill with computer code as he operates it. Light sweeps along Zev, changing her back into Xev)

STAN: Oh good, good

(He undoes the restraints, and Xev sits up)

XEV: I feel better
790: You look terrific
XEV: How much time do I have now?
790: Darling, it's with the greatest pleasure that I give you - the full 79 years

(Stan smiles, Xev laughs. She kisses 790, who has hearts in his eyes. She gets off the Lusticon)

XEV: Thanks Kai

(She kisses him, but gets no reaction. Stan puckers up hopefully, but Xev just strokes his cheek)

XEV: Thanks
STAN: Hmm. Oh - that's it? OK. So - you think there's a chance any of the love slaves down there might have survived?

(Kai shakes his head)


(Back on the bridge of the Lexx)

STAN: So, er - do you feel any different?

(Xev stands, with 790 in her arms)

XEV: You know what, 790?
790: What is it, my resilient peach of happiness?
XEV: There's no place like home

(She walks off the bridge. The Lexx sails away - and Woz is devoured by Mantrid drones)

© Filking Fairy

© LEXX - LIGHT ZONE 2005 HELEN & Trulyalyana

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