Lexx 2.09 791 (written by Paul Donovan, Jeffrey Hirschfield)
(The Lexx flies through space. Xev is in her bed, Kai is in
his cryopod. On the bridge, Stan is dozing on the pedestal, and 790 is singing
on the floor)
790: If I only had a body, I'd be more than just a
head If I only had a body, I would slap her on the bed
(Lexx picks
up a distress signal, and the view screen shows a planet. 790 ignores
it)
790: If I only had a body, I would be Xev's hunky man If I
only had a body, I would get to pummel Stan If I -
(Tendrils drop
down from Lyekka's pod, which is hanging above the bridge. Stan wakes with a
start)
STAN: Oh, I was just dreaming
(He sees Lyekka
stretching after emerging from her pod - she's wearing a red/blue body
suit)
STAN: Lyekka? LYEKKA: Hello Stanley
(She smiles,
and walks over to him)
LYEKKA: It's wonderful to see you STAN: I
was just dreaming of you in that outfit LYEKKA: Hello robot. I have to eat -
soon
(Stan looks nervous)
STAN: Well, see that's, that's
a problem. See, we're precisely in the middle of nowhere. There's no-one out
there, there's no-one to eat 790: Except you - so please Lyekka, help
yourself to security guard class appetiser - and stay away from Xev, meat
fiend! LYEKKA: You don't have to worry yet, Stanley. I heard a signal. That
means there should be something else to eat nearby STAN: A signal? (to
790) Why didn't you wake me? 790: It was a distress signal. They only
lead to trouble, so I always ignore them STAN: Yeah, well -
yeah
(The Lexx heads for the distress signal. Everyone is on the
bridge, looking at a planet on the view screen)
790: It is not a
life bearing planet, therefore the distress signal must be coming from a life
form that originated somewhere else XEV: Like people who might have crashed
there? 790: Yes - for example KAI: Any atmosphere? 790: A very thin
one. Xev would require a pressure suit. Stanley would not STAN: Why
not? 790: Because a pressure suit would allow you to continue to breathing,
which is a bad idea. A pressure suit would prevent the gas dissolved in your
blood from exploding in the thin atmosphere - something I've been looking very
forward to. A pressure suit -
(Xev is smiling - Stan is not, and
changes the subject)
STAN: Anyway - I'm not going anywhere XEV:
What's the matter Stan - scared? (smiles) STAN: No, smart. I'm
staying on the Lexx LYEKKA: I have to go down to the planet now. I'm very
hungry XEV: So, we go down to the planet and rescue some crashed people, and
then you just - eat them? LYEKKA: I will eat animals, if there are
any XEV: But the people if that's all there is? LYEKKA: Yes. I would never
eat Kai, because Kai is dead. You are my friends, so I prefer not to eat you,
but if I stay here I will have to KAI: What if I stop you? LYEKKA:
How? KAI: Kill you, perhaps
(Lyekka's arm stretches - and
stretches, and stretches. She grabs Kai's chin, then lets go, and returns to
normal)
LYEKKA: I'm not so easy to kill. Please - I need to go down
to the planet now
(She heads for the passageway leading off the
bridge)
STAN: But I like her - well, when she's not hungry
anyway
(Lyekka looks at Stan and smiles)
LYEKKA: I like
you too Stanley KAI: She eats people STAN: Well, yeah, but -
(Lyekka leaves the bridge)
KAI: Lyekka is a predator. It
is fundamental to her nature to consume other living life forms, like
you XEV: So you think we should leave her on the planet then? KAI: Being
dead means not having an opinion XEV: Well I think - I think we're stuck for
now. Maybe I'll decide to leave her behind once we get down
there
(She gives 790 to Kai)
STAN: Ah Xev, don't be so
foolish. I mean, there's no need to go down - stay here, stay safe. Xev are you
listening? XEV: Nope
(Xev leaves. Kai follows)
STAN:
No. No
(Xev, Kai, 790 and Lyekka take a moth down to the planet. The
atmosphere is misty, with howling winds)
790: We're close to the
source of the distress signal now KAI: There it is
(Down on the
surface, there's a ship similar to the Stripper in 2.7 Love Grows, as the
cockpit is separated from the bulk of the ship by a long cable. Xev gets on the
squawker)
XEV: Stan - Xev. There's a crashed ship where that
distress signal is coming from STAN: Be careful XEV: Sure, we will 790:
I've got a bad feeling
(On the Lexx, Stan is on the pedestal - he's
uneasy too)
STAN: I've got a bad feeling
(The moth flies
low over the surface and lands. Xev is wearing a pressure suit, the others
aren't. Kai carries 790)
XEV: Stay close to me! I can't see a
thing KAI: I will XEV: Lyekka! Let's stay close together. Lyekka!
Lyekka?
(But Lyekka has gone off exploring on her own. Xev and Kai go
to the front section of the ship and open an entry hatch. Inside is an airlock.
On one side there's a window onto a compartment with a chair and controls. Xev
tries the inner hatch of the airlock, but can't open it)
XEV: How
can we open this door? KAI: I think from in there 790: Clearly this
airlock is controlled from behind that armoured glass. That is highly unusual.
We should return to the Lexx at once
(Kai fires his brace. breaking
the glass. He pulls a lever and the hatch opens, revealing a long winding
passage. Xev is about to go in, when she notices a ladder inside the control
section)
XEV: Maybe we should check out whatever's up there
first
(She heads up the ladder. Kai follows. It leads into the
cockpit)
790: The air is breathable in here Xev XEV: Are you
sure?
(She takes off her helmet)
790: Yes. Some of the
ship's systems are obviously still operating XEV: I don't know, this must be
the bridge
(There are glass jars there, wired into controls. Xev
looks at the contents)
XEV: These are human hearts KAI: Yes.
Their life support system is still functional. The pilot, however, is
not
(The pilot is sitting in a chair. A huge muscular body, wearing
an outfit that looks like a cross between a gladiator and a football uniform -
with the butt cut out. And a head that looks like C3PO)
790: His
head has been ripped off (whimpers) XEV: A robot KAI: A
cyborg
(Kai puts 790 down, takes a closer look at the
pilot)
KAI: Machine from the lungs up. Mostly human from there down.
Goodbye, head
(He takes the broken head off and puts it down by 790,
who is making gurgling noises)
XEV: Are you OK? 790:
(quietly) Fine XEV: Was there a human crew? KAI: No sign of
any
(790 starts using red/green beams to scan the cyborg's legs,
crotch)
XEV: Must have been a hard landing 790: Yes -
hard! XEV: 790? What are you doing? 790: Oh, just running a quick scan of
his thing - his systems! XEV: Hmm. And? 790: He's completely dude - dead!
Totally non functional. Never. Useless. History. Expired. Scrap. Done XEV: I
could have sworn you were getting ideas 790: Pardon me? Oh - yes, well, of
course I noticed the missing head, but I determined immediately that it is
beyond repair, so I dismissed the dick - the idea of making him work again then
and there
(Xev smiles, and strokes the cyborg's
chest)
XEV: What a shame. He's quite - a specimen
(She
looks at 790, who makes a whining sound)
790: I should try to
analyse the ship's flight computer, don't you think? After all, we want to know
why it crashed KAI: You seem to 790: My interest is purely academic. This
could take a little while - quite a little while, in fact. I will have to learn
how to work his - this, system. Perhaps you - XEV: Kai and I - will explore
the rest of the ship, I guess 790: Excellent idea KAI: I suggest that we
begin with the rear section
(He leaves a squawker beside
790)
KAI: Call us if anything big comes up 790: I will. Be
careful Xev XEV: I will 790: I won't be too long
(Xev and Kai
start back down the ladder. 790 scans the cyborg again)
790: OK,
headless hunk of fantasy fulfilment. Time to meet your new
master
(Xev and Kai reach the airlock, and head into the
passage)
XEV: I wonder why the two sections of the ship are so
separate?
(790 is still scanning)
790: Talk to me. Talk
to me!
(The cyborg unfolds a finger, then two more. It makes a fist,
and pulls arms free of the restraints holding it to the chair)
790:
Yes! Oh Xev - it's going to be magical. It's going to be -
(The
cyborg grabs 790, and starts banging him on a counter)
790: Bad.
Very, very bad
(Xev and Kai are now at the hatch at the other end of
the passage)
XEV: 790, we're in front of the door to the rear
section of the ship, and we can't open it. Can you activate it from the
bridge?
(The cyborg kicks 790, who flies through the air, hitting a
red button. This opens the door, revealing a shifting blue force
field)
XEV: Thank you. Some kind of electronic
barrier?
(Kai puts his hand through it, pulls it
out)
KAI: It appears to be harmless XEV: I wonder what it's
purpose is? KAI: Shall we?
(They walk through - at the top of what
looks like an old abandoned factory. Xev shines her torch)
XEV: It
doesn't look like much KAI: Let's make our way round
(Back on the
bridge. 790 is on the floor, but seems to be gaining control)
790:
That's right. Come on body, come on!
(The body walks shakily towards
him)
790: Lean over now. Pick me up, here we go
(The
cyborg walks away)
790: No, no, no! Come back here, you brawny
servant of my soon to be requited passion! Put me in my rightful
place!
(The cyborg comes back, and picks up 790)
(Xev and Kai
walk down a metal staircase, into a large room. It contains big domes on
octagonal plinths)
KAI: This appears to be the entire cargo XEV:
Whatever's in there must be very valuable KAI: Or very
dangerous
(Kai puts his hand on a blue light on a plinth, and the
dome lifts up. Xev shines her torch down - there's another ladder. Kai goes
down. Inside there's a big pod - very Alien. Kai crouches down to look at
it)
XEV: Found anything? KAI: An ovoid object. Potentially an
alien egg of some sort
(Meanwhile, back on the bridge -
)
790: Now, gently. Gently!
(The cyborg puts 790 onto its
shoulders, and starts shaking. 790 makes strange noises, walks about
jerkily)
(Kai runs his hand along the pod. Xev has joined
him)
XEV: Be careful KAI: There's movement inside. Something
alive
(He peels open sections of the pod. There's a thin membrane
inside, which tears as a head pops up - it's a girl, covered in slime, but
pretty - like Snow White)
XEV: 790, are you there? 790? 790, can you
hear me? Come in 790: I'm right heeeeeeeeeeeerre!
(Xev listens to
the strange noises)
XEV: Have you learned anything about the nature
of this ship? 790: Not much XEV: Keep searching. And see if you can turn
on some more lights in this section 790: I'll get right on it! XEV: Stan,
this is Xev. We've found somebody alive. There could be more STAN: Somebody,
what kind of somebody?
(Xev looks at the girl -
Desh)
XEV: A female somebody STAN: Female. Is she
attractive? XEV: Is that all that matters to you? STAN: Yeah, pretty
much XEV: (smiles) Bye, Stan STAN: No, wait,
wait!
(Xev breaks the connection)
(On the bridge, 790 is
clawing at the back of his neck)
(Desh opens her eyes and looks at Kai,
who kneels in front of her)
DESH: Who are you? KAI: I am Kai,
last of the Brunnen G DESH: Where are the jailers? KAI: If you mean the
crew, there is no sign of anybody. The bridge was deserted DESH: Not even a
pilot? KAI: There is a cyborg pilot, strapped in a seat. However, he seems to
have lost his head when you landed DESH: Landed? KAI: You've crashed, on
an uninhabited planet
(Xev crouches down beside him)
XEV:
We heard your distress signal. Are you a prisoner? DESH: Yes XEV: What was
your crime? DESH: Nothing - except for being in the wrong place at the wrong
time. I'm innocent. What was your crime? XEV: Failing my wifely duties, and
humiliating my husband in the temple. I wasn't innocent
(smiles) KAI: So, how did you end up here? DESH: I was going to
meet my husband, at the outer colonies. We picked up some metal traders, at the
outer rim. They started killing us, just murdering everyone. Laughing, rubbing
blood all over - KAI: Where were they taking you? DESH: I don't know. They
might be slave traders, I don't know! I wish they'd just killed
me
(Kai seems quite moved by this. He stands up, and puts a hand
inside the pod to pull her out)
KAI: I will release you DESH: No!
You can't
(Kai stops, lets go)
KAI: Why not? DESH:
When they put me in here, they removed my - heart, to prevent
escape
(Kai looks down at her chest - there are cables coming out of
it)
DESH: They kept me conscious while they did it, made me
watch
(Desh starts sobbing. Xev looks sick. Kai lowers Desh back into
the pod)
KAI: I'm going to check the other cells
(He
heads up the ladder, Xev follows)
XEV: Don't worry, I'll be back
soon
(At the top, a thought occurs to her)
XEV: Kai, I'm
worried about Lyekka showing up KAI: You should be
(He raises the
dome behind Desh's)
XEV: We have to get this woman's heart from the
bridge before - KAI: Lyekka gets it? XEV: Yes KAI: How will you know
which one it is? XEV: It should be the first one in line, just like
her
(Xev heads back to the bridge, while Kai goes down into the next
cell and opens the pod. This one contains a man - Berf)
BERF: Go
ahead! Do your worst, I'm ready for you - but if you turn your back on me for
one second, I'll rip your throat out! KAI: I am not your jailer. I am Kai,
last of the Brunnen G BERF: You could be the last of the cockroaches for all
I care, I'm still gonna tear you apart!
(He laughs, and spits on
Kai's face. Kai touches his face, seems quite surprised by this, and
leaves)
(Xev is back on the bridge)
XEV: How's it going, 790?
790? Where are you? 790: Here, my love - but I'm more than 790
now
(The cyborg 790 emerges from the shadows)
790: You
can call me 791 - the one for you
(He walks closer to
her)
790: It's our day of destiny, Xev. I am whole, and wholly
yours XEV: You said he was broken 790: I lied for love XEV: I don't
believe it 790: But it's true. Here I am, and I can't wait to take you in my
-
(He starts talking gibberish. His eye screens go blank, voice is
garbled, cyborg)
CYBORG: No mercy. Terminate them XEV: What was
that? 790: Part of the cyborg's control unit is body centred. I can override
it - mostly. Oh Xev - I don't know where to start. Do you want to be on top?
Should I rub you somewhere first? Command me, my mistress of
passion!
(He moves to hug her, but she backs away)
XEV:
Not so fast, lover boy. I'm still getting over the shock. The new you certainly
offers a lot of - possibility 790: An immense possibility! 791 will be your
engine of desire. Gentle caresses. Full throttle animal couplings, and
everything in between. Our time has arrived. Hold me, my
angelllllllll!
(His eye screens go blank again)
CYBORG:
New orders - dispose. None left alive
(790 recovers
himself)
790: Sorry - a little glitch, nothing more. Xev - no-one
could ever love you like I do, and now I finally have the equipment to prove it,
so what in the universe is stopping us?
(Kai is in another cell,
looking at another prisoner. This man is called Wern, and he's
terrified)
WERN: Hey, I'm travelling to Barnard 17 to close a deal,
and bam! I'm boarded. All the way! They're gonna do some horrible experiments on
me, right? Look, just find a way to get me outta here, friend, can you,
please? KAI: I'll - er - see what I can do
(He heads back up the
ladder)
(Xev runs her hand along 790's casing, then down his chest,
navel, crotch - he moans)
XEV: You weren't lying. You really do have
the equipment 790: It's all yours
(Xev goes to kiss him - then
stops)
790: What's wrong? XEV: I don't know - timing. We have to
help Kai and Lyekka with the prisoners 790: Who cares about them? XEV: I
do. 790, look - we can pick up this weirdness later CYBORG: Now, bitch,
now! 790: Oh, Xev - sorry XEV: Maybe I should get you off of there for
now 790: No, please - it's just a little feedback. I'm certain it's to do
with those two cables down my back that I can't reach. They lead directly into
the body's central processor. Will you help me connect them? XEV:
Where? 790: Slide them up through the join
(He points, turns. Xev
has a look)
790: Back a little - back - to the left - there! Connect
it right there
(Xev plugs in the two cables)
XEV: Did I
get it right? 790: You got it, treasure chest. I'm fully online, and ready to
- CYBORG: Bend over, tubby!
(790 shakes, and falls
down)
(Kai returns to Desh's cell, kneels down by her
pod)
KAI: Hello again DESH: Thank you, for rescuing me KAI:
But I haven't rescued you yet DESH: I know, but still - tell me about this
planet we crashed on. How did you get here? KAI: On the Lexx DESH: What is
that? KAI: A large insect
(790 is still on the floor, his eye
screens blank)
XEV: 790, are you there? Can you hear me? 790? Are
you completely fried?
(We can see Xev from the cyborg's point of
view, but 790's eye screens are still blank. Xev gets up and goes over to the
hearts. The screens light up - but it's not 790's face. They go blank as Xev
looks back. She takes on heart jar from each end of the row)
(The Lexx.
Stan is on the pedestal, getting restless)
STAN: Xev, come in, come
in, are you there? Xev?
(She puts the jars down and answers the
squawker)
XEV: I'm here STAN: So, listen - what's this about
females? XEV: Not now, Stan STAN: Look, all I wanna know is, how many
there are and what they look like
(790 is scanning Xev - his eyes
beady, teeth pointed)
XEV: We don't know how many yet, Kai's still
checking. As for what they look like, I'm sure you would have your own opinion,
if you were here - but you're not STAN: You're not helping me Xev. So look,
what are they, crash survivors or what? XEV: They're prisoners, kidnap
victims STAN: Oh yeah? So, so, are they grateful to be rescued? You know,
grateful (laughs) XEV: Enough questions, Stan. I'm busy, very
busy
(790's screens go blank as Xev looks at him)
XEV:
790, you silly thing - you really did it this time
(She picks up the
heart jars again, and leaves. The cyborg face lights up)
CYBORG:
Stan
(Stan is pacing the bridge, when he gets a
message)
XEV: Stan, it's Xev. I'm back STAN: Oh come on, Xev,
tell me what's really going on down there XEV: Non-stop action of the hot and
sweaty kind STAN: What? Oh, you're teasing me, right? XEV: I've just got a
full report from Kai. He's discovered an entire harem, very eager and very
attractive - you should really come down and meet them. They want to meet
you STAN: So, is it completely safe? XEV: If you want to play it that way
- but you don't have to. Anything goes STAN: Um, well - what about Lyekka,
she get something to eat? XEV: Everybody eats here, Stan - and eats, and
eats STAN: So, so they weren't really prisoners after all?
(Of
course, it isn't Xev on the squawker - it's the cyborg, imitating her
voice)
XEV: No. You see, it wasn't a distress call we answered Stan
- it was a beacon of desire, sent by lusty sex starved sirens. They're aching
for it, Stan. Begging for it. They want it hard, and they want it now. Are you
man enough to provide it? Bye bye Stan. See you soon
(The cyborg
smiles)
(A moth leaves the Lexx. Stan is inside, wearing a pressure suit,
but still not sure about the whole thing)
STAN: I don't know about
this. I really don't know
(He lands by the other moth. The cyborg
closes the inner hatch of the airlock. When Stan opens the outer hatch and walks
in, there's no-one in sight. Stan takes off his helmet, looks
around)
STAN: Kai? Xev?
(He attaches his helmet to his
belt, and tries the inner hatch)
(On her way back to the cell, Xev hears
a man moaning. So does Desh. Kai emerges from her cell as Xev
arrives)
MAN: Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh - arggggh! KAI:
Lyekka
(Xev nods. They go to a rear dome, open it - and a column of
liquid emerges. Kai and Xev look down at the bloody remains of a pod. The liquid
morphs into Lyekka)
LYEKKA: I like prisoners
(She morphs
back into liquid form, and glides away)
(Stan has not been able to get
the hatch open)
STAN: Xev! Kai!
(He sees the lever in the
compartment, tries it - the door opens. Stan laughs, pops his head
round)
STAN: Kai? Xev?
(Then a voice calls down from the
bridge)
XEV: Up here, Stanley, we are up here!
(Stan
climbs into the compartment, starts up the ladder)
STAN: Ah, to the
party!
(Xev and Kai have brought the hearts down into the cell. Desh
is looking nervous)
DESH: What's happening up there? KAI: Those
in the cells beside you just got eaten DESH: By what? KAI: A plant XEV:
Now what? There's one from each end, I didn't know which one is yours DESH:
I'm afraid you'll just have to choose one, and hope it's mine
(Xev
hands a jar to Kai, who takes out the heart)
XEV: Are you just going
to stick it in there? KAI: Unless you have a better idea
(Stan has
reached the bridge. He looks at the remaining heart jars)
STAN:
Hello?! Hello! Where are you Xev, hello! XEV: Down here, Stan! Down the
stairs, come on!
(Stan smiles, heads to the exit of the bridge, and
down stairs)
STAN: I don't see any party! XEV: Over here Stan.
You're gonna love it STAN: This better be good
(Stan smiles - then
he gets to the bottom of the staircase, and stops smiling. There are the remains
of two men tied to the stair rail, gagged, with their trousers down around their
ankles)
STAN: I must be in the wrong place
(The cyborg
walks up behind him)
CYBORG: Not at all, Stan. You're exactly in the
right place, for what I have in mind
(The cyborg puts his hands on
Stan's shoulders, and pulls him away. Stan screams)
(In the cell, Kai
pulls Desh up slightly, and pushes the heart in through the hole in her
chest)
(Elsewhere, Stan taps his foot to the beat of bad techno music
coming from the cyborg's chest)
CYBORG: Oh, yeah. Thrust it, monkey
man - give me some back and forth. Do it
(Stan starts
dancing)
CYBORG: I said do it! With feeling
(It is not
the best dancing of all time - but that's hardly surprising, given the
circumstances)
CYBORG: That's right. Dance. Shake your lily white
ass, buckaroo. More hips! Jiggle it!
(The cyborg joins Stan on the
dance floor, does a bad Travolta impression, then starts gyrating behind Stan,
very close)
CYBORG: Yeah baby. Keep it slippery now
(Desh
clambers out of her pod - covered in slime, and a rather nice off the shoulder
leather number. She crouches on the floor, shivering)
DESH: I owe
you my life
(The cyborg grabs Stan's neck, leans him
back)
CYBORG: Ever kissed a cyborg? STAN: No CYBORG: You
will
(He pushes Stan against a wall. Stan tries to push 790's head
away from his face)
CYBORG: When I was a man, I had uncontrollable
urges. That's why they made me into a machine. All those urges were supposed to
be erased. But when the prisoners reprogrammed me, the old flame came
back
(Stan is still struggling)
CYBORG: You're not pretty
- but you're my kind of not pretty
(He presses Stan's face to his
mouth screen. Stan grabs at the back of his head, manages to pull a cable loose
- and 790 splutters back into life)
790: I'll never tell if you
don't STAN: Agreed. Now just let me go
(And then the cyborg
regains control)
CYBORG: You're not going anywhere till I deal with
the sizzle in my pizzle 790: Do something, Tweedle! STAN: Like
what?! 790: I don't know, kill yourself! Anything so that I don't have to go
through with this! STAN: What about me? CYBORG: Enough! I'm in control
here 790: Tweedle - I can't fight him. Run while you can. Save Xev!
Go!
(790 lets Stan go - he runs up the staircase, just before the
cyborg gets control)
CYBORG: I can smell your funk, Stanley - and
I'm coming to bury my face in it! (evil grin)
(Stan runs down some
stairs, then clambers through the rail, hangs down the side)
CYBORG:
Stanley. Stanley - the head is mine. All heads are mine! So get ready to
boogaloo
(The cyborg walks down the stairs, doesn't notice
Stan)
(Xev, Kai and Desh reach the force field. Desh stops, holds her
hand up to it)
XEV: What's wrong? DESH: That's meant for me - not
you!
(She pushes them back, and races through the force field - which
glows red. A door shuts the passage)
XEV: Hey! VOICE: Attention,
attention - the prisoner containment area has been breached. Attention,
attention - security default activated. Attention, attention - security default
activated
(An alarm sounds)
(Stan is hiding from the
cyborg)
(Xev and Kai, stuck behind the door, can hear
Desh)
DESH: I have no feelings. I am the perfect warrior. I kill to
live, and I live to kill. I was on my way to trial and execution, which is why I
triggered the security system when I came through the door. It was me who
arranged for the cyborg pilot to be reprogrammed to kill the crew. Of course, he
wasn't supposed to crash the ship - but that's all behind me. Thank you for your
assistance. Now die
(She walks away. Xev and Kai look at each
other)
VOICE: Attention, attention - prisoner containment is the
mission priority. This prisoner transport will self destruct in 10 minutes, as
there has been a breach of the prisoner containment area
(Desh has
changed into more practical overalls, with a gas mask. She opens the airlock
hatch and goes outside)
(Stan is running up stairs away from the cyborg,
who is close behind)
VOICE: I repeat - this prisoner transport will
self destruct in 9 minutes and 52 seconds
(Desh sees a moth, and gets
inside. Kai is still struggling with the hatch. Stan is still
running)
VOICE: Attention, attention - this prisoner transport will
self destruct in 8 minutes and 10 seconds
(Desh takes off her gas
mask, and flies the moth away)
(To evade the cyborg, Stan goes through a
door - which leads into a lift shaft. He manages to swing across to the ladder
on the adjoining wall)
VOICE: 7 minutes and 40
seconds
(The moth is now in space)
DESH: Kill to live -
live to kill
(Desh sees something watery outside. It morphs into
Lyekka's face)
LYEKKA: Hello. How are you today?
(And now
Lyekka is inside the moth)
LYEKKA: This will be very pleasant for
you
(Desh screams, as watery tendril moves closer)
(Stan makes
it down the ladder into the compartment by the airlock)
VOICE: -
will self destruct in 3 minutes and 10 seconds
(Stan hears music. He
looks up and sees the cyborg at the top of the ladder)
CYBORG:
You're mine, concubine
(Stan straps himself into the chair and puts
on his helmet, as the cyborg heads down the ladder)
VOICE: Warning,
warning - all personnel must now be evacuated, as self destruction is imminent.
Warning, warning - all personnel must now be evacuated, as self destruction is
imminent
(Stan pulls the lever, opening the outer door - the cyborg
is sucked out, but manages to grab hold of the door frame. Stan grabs a nearby
harpoon gun)
STAN: Who's laughing now, robot?!
(He fires,
but misses the cyborg. The harpoon hits the door frame - and to make matters
worse, there's a line attached to it. The cyborg grabs the line. Stan drops the
gun and the cyborg falls back, but the gun gets lodged on a rail, and the line
holds. The cyborg makes it back to the compartment, shuts the airlock door, and
grabs Stan)
CYBORG: One - spread. Two - you're dead STAN: But the
ship's gonna blow up, we'll both die!
(The cyborg pulls Stan out of
the chair, rips open his pressure suit, pushes him against a wall and kicks his
legs apart)
VOICE: Warning, warning - explosive charges are now
armed. Self destruct in 2 minutes CYBORG: Just enough time for a
quickie
(790 briefly regains control)
790: Stanley
Tweedle - I have to say in all candour that without the slightest micro-iota of
inestimable doubt in the entirety of the two universes - this is the very
definition of misery STAN: Just stop, please! CYBORG: Not his show, bitch
- it's mine
(The cyborg readies himself - and Kai's brace pulls 790
from his shoulders. The cyborg staggers around, as Kai walks up to
Stan)
KAI: Don't get up, Stanley
(Kai opens the outer
door. Lyekka braces herself in the frame of the inner door, with Xev safe behind
her. Kai holds onto Stan, as the wind rushes in, pulling the cyborg away. Kai
closes the door. Stan breathes a sigh of relief, then turns to look at 790, who
says nothing)
KAI: I can see that you two may require some time
alone, but we have to leave - now 790: (quiet) Fine STAN: Let's
go VOICE: Warning, warning - explosive charges are now armed. Self destruct
in 1 minute
(The moths take off)
VOICE: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6,
5, 4, 3, 2, 1
(The planet explodes. The moths fly away - Xev, Lyekka
and 790 in one, Stan and Kai in the other. Xev and Lyekka look at Kai, who gives
them a thumbs up. Stan just stares straight ahead. 790 is sitting on Xev's
lap)
790: I am totally, completely, and utterly humiliated XEV:
That's OK, forget it 790: You must understand that my intentions were
entirely honourable - if I had any idea the cyborg - XEV: I said forget it.
You may still only be a head, 790 - but you're the best head I ever
had
(She smiles, and pats his casing. The moths head back to the
Lexx)
© Filking Fairy
© LEXX - LIGHT ZONE 2005 HELEN & Trulyalyana
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