I am the Lexx
I am the most powerful weapon of distraction in the two Universes.

LEXX: RATED

790: We should tell about the dead man in black.
I’m going to tell some more of my story first.
The bar I worked in was the rare place for clerics on the fast track have contact with lowly production line girls like me. We were not supposed to make social recourse. But there was always the possibility that I could light a spark in a heart of a cleric who had to much to drink. Clerics are usually pretty careful. Getting involved with me could be as bad for the cleric’s carrier as it would be good for mine. I knew this was my one and only chance. And when a girl gets her chance, she’s got to go for it.
So what happened?
I’ll finish that later.

But first I’ll tell you about the second crew member, the dead man in black.

KAI: Stingers!

(The ships raise their tails, and open weapons)

BRUNNEN G: Stingers ready
KAI: Our one chance and our one chance alone is to hit His Shadow's control pod. Good luck. Very, very good luck
BRUNNEN G: ForeShadow in range
KAI: Fire now!

790: Kai was the last of the Brunnen J, a race of people famous for defeating the insects in the Great Insect Wars. When His Divine Shadow became powerful and started to take over the Light Universe one of the first planets he attacked was Brunnis 2 the Brunnen J planet. Everyone on it was killed. But Kai and a few other warriors managed a desperate last attacking on His Shadow’s flight ship - the Foreshadow.

(The ships fly towards the ForeShadow. Two ships are shot down, then a third. The final sheet of energy hits Brunnis 2, which disintegrates to the sounds of screaming)

KAI: Crash into the control pod!

(Two more ships are hit. The control pod shield starts to close, but Kai's ship crashes through. The shield closes. Kai lies bleeding on the floor, amidst the wreckage of his ship. His Divine Shadow walks towards him)

KAI: His Shadow...
HDS: His Divine Shadow, yes.
KAI: The Brunnen G will defeat you.
HDS: I do not think so. The power of order has destroyed your planet. The power of order will destroy you. And you are the last of the Brunnen G left alive.
KAI: The Time Prophet has seen your order destroyed by the Brunnen G.

(His Divine Shadow takes out a dagger)

HDS: The Time Prophet's vision appears to be flawed.

(His Divine Shadow crouches down and stabs Kai in the chest. He puts his hands on Kai's head to steal his memories, then stands up again)

OFFICER: We will incinerate the carcass
HDS: No. This last specimen of a now extinct culture of romantic dreamers merits punishment beyond death. Transport it to the Bio-Scholars.

(His Divine Shadow bends down to pick up part of Kai's ship)

HDS: An insect. Curious.

790: They saved his body and sent it to the Bio-Scholars and turned him into a living dead assassin kept alive by protoblood. And he spend the next two thousands years killing whoever His Shadow told him to kill.

(His Divine Shadow walks down steps into mortuary. He pulls open a drawer - there are hundreds, but this is the one that contains Kai. HDS moves his hand across the drawer, and protoblood starts to flow from tubes into Kai)

HDS: Awake, last of the Brunnen G.

(Kai's eyes open)

KAI: Who would you like me to kill?

(Kai reappears on the bridge)

KAI: I've killed mothers with their babies.
I've killed great politicians, proud young warriors and revolutionaries.
I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak - and the beautiful.
I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and I have never once shown any mercy.

LEXX: That was Zev with Stan and Kai. Maybe we should tell her story now.
790: I will, I will...

Transcription - Lunatic

4 Rated LEXX - 790 and Zev

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